The Problem with Exercise

Most nights in the summer, I drive (!) the six blocks to my parents’ house and swim laps in their pool. Well, last night was no different, except that when I went to place my foot on the first step to enter the pool, a slight movement caught my eye.

I noticed the little blue bobbing chlorine thing had something unusual perched on top of it—it was a baby rattlesnake! Well, I shrieked a little, but not overly, and my mother came running, but not very fast because she’s 80, and then we both contemplated my perplexing discovery.

Well, after a moment, she announced that since it was a baby, it probably wouldn’t hurt anybody (!!) and she thought she could pick it up using the pole with the net at the end and then dump it in her flowers so that it would go away (and probably not hurt anyone).

I reminded her as tactfully as I could that it was a rattlesnake!!

My plan was to throw a pillowcase over the whole bobbing chlorine thing and then somehow extricate the chlorine thing and trap the baby rattlesnake in the pillowcase! My mother looked doubtful, and as a result, we could not come to a consensus on how to handle the problem.

My father was at the gym, so I called home and explained to my husband that we were in the middle of a crisis of gargantuan proportions and could he rush over the six blocks to lend a hand.

When he arrived, we explained our Plans A and B, and he looked a little appalled and stated that thank God he was there or he would be driving both of us to the emergency room.

He had a Rubbermaid container with him, and outlined his plan. He would use the pole with the net at the end of it and knock the snake into the water, then scoop up the snake and drop it into the large container, and then I would fly in and snap on the lid.

Well, the poor snake was more befuddled than angry, and we executed Plan C flawlessly. We would call the Animal Control people to pick up our unpopular new friend.

And that was the end of the adventure. Needless to say, the operation took up all of my valuable lap-swimming time, and all I could do was go back home to rest and recover.